Trans Day Of Remembrance 2023 Observations

Trans Day Of Remembrance 2023 Observations

Another Transgender Day Of Remembrance has come and gone. My old hometown happens to be the only city in the county with an LGBT community center, and they've been doing TDOR gatherings for the last decade. This was my third time.

You can't escape news about the transgender community these days, and this is in large part because we've been turned into a political talking point by people on the right. In some states, trans healthcare is being jeopardized. 

It started out with politicians claiming to be protecting the children, who in this case happen to be trans and are not being shamed back into the closet. With some people calling for the eradication of transgender people in general, it's no surprise that these states are also taking away trans healthcare in general.

For years, transgender people have been the victims of violent murder, brutal attacks and serious depression. Some in the community have even taken their own lives. For over 20 years, we've gathered to mourn the deaths of those within our community.

At the event I attended, 34 names were written on pieces of paper for us to read out loud. In fact, I had been listening for a certain name to be read. When I didn't hear the name of Brianna Ghey, I brought that to the attention of the organizer and was allowed to remember the life of the 16-year-old from England, who was murdered back in February.

Before we get into naming the names, there are speeches from various people within the community. Then, we each light a candle. When I light my candle, I always remember Gwen Araujo, who at 17 years old was murdered over 20 years ago. Her life had an impact on mine as I came out 15 years ago.

We heard various different speeches. A pastor of an LGBT friendly church spoke on the fact that God loves us all. He also spoke on the misnomer that trans healthcare for youth includes radical surgeries for them at a very young age. The reality is it's not easy for trans youth to get surgeries that young. It's more about allowing them to express who they are openly and without fear.

One of the youths in the community spoke out about how important the LGBT community center in the area is to them. In some cases, that is one of the very few places at which they feel comfortable being out as themselves.

A trans man in his 60s talked about his journey to come out. He only took that step a few years ago. He talked about an important conversation he had with a conservative neighbor, who happens to be a friend. At the end, that person told him that they learned a lot and had much to think about.

I don't think this event had more people in attendance than last year, but I did have more meaningful conversations this year. I learned a few things and was able to share my experiences with other people. I wish we didn't have to have events like these anymore, but such is the reality we live in.

It's important for us to remember the lives lost and the fact that death for simply being transgender is not acceptable. I know it's a meme on social media, but it's very true. Trans rights are human rights. TDOR will continue to be an important event to me.

It's Sad That Trans Day Of Remembrance Needs To Be A Thing

It's Sad That Trans Day Of Remembrance Needs To Be A Thing

I'm getting ready for Transgender Day Of Remembrance as I write this. This is the day when we gather in our groups in several cities throughout the United States and even around the world. We mourn those who lost their lives during the past calendar year.

Primarily, we're talking about those who died in violent ways from people who show no respect or value to their lives, but there are also those who die due to suicide. Suicide is something that deeply affects our community. This day is a day in which we remember all the lives lost.

We all light candles, and the names are read out loud. We will not let them be forgotten. At times it doesn't feel like the world is getting better, but it actually is. More people are aware of what it is to be transgender, and they show some compassion.

We've made incredible gains during the last 20 years as more awareness has been created about who we are. We've made gains in health care, job opportunities and housing opportunities. Even families are more accepting towards their trans children than they were a couple of decades ago.

As has always the case when we make gains, there is push back against those gains. We are being used as a political talking point this election season. The powers that be want to take away the gains we've made for trans youth and in the process strike down the progress made for trans adults. They want to take away our health care.

I've written on this topic. I don't believe those pushing against the trans community are going to ultimately win. They will lose as more people understand that trans rights are human rights. You don't have to love us. You don't have to hang out with us. However, you do have to respect our right to be.

I don't like that we have to gather like this to mourn the losses we've had in the last year, but it's very important. We need to realize that we aren't where we need to be yet in society. When there's a movement against us, we must speak out and make our voices loud and clear.

Another indication of where we are occurred prior the Trans Day Of Remembrance gathering closest to where I live. I was pretty sure I knew the location, but they were vague in their advertisement of it on social media. They didn't name the location, and this is out of concern for potential violence. They wanted to make sure I or anybody interested in attending wasn't going to be a problem.

I don't believe anything is going to happen (it didn't), but I understand the concern. They wanted to know a little bit more about me before they would even give me the location. I do a lot of things online, but within the community here, I haven't done enough. Other than being on TV at Trans March for a news report, my voice hasn't been as loud as I'd like it to be.

Once I told them a little bit about myself, I got the location. I feel I need to be there for this one to speak for those who can't be there. When I light my candle, before names are named, I think of Gwen Araujo, who's story resonated with me as I came out.

We will gather this evening and remember those we lost this year with love in our hearts. We will use our voices to speak their names out loud, because they can't. Even though this event happens this year, we strive for the day when people aren't murdered for being transgender. One day, we will get there.

Trans Rights Will Ultimately Be Protected

Trans Rights Will Ultimately Be Protected

There's always an ebb and flow when change comes. When we were starting to make real progress in the trans community in the last decade, I knew there would be blowback. There were certain things people were questioning. People on the right were afraid. The very fabric of society was being threatened, according to them.

I am a realist, and I also don't mind honest questions being asked when it comes to transgender topics. We shouldn't be afraid to ask questions about our own movement. Are we going about things the right way? What can we do to make things a little bit easier for the ones who will be coming out behind us? What can we do to calm the fears people have about transgender people?

Fear is a very important topic, because with fear comes violence. As I write this, Trans Day of Remembrance is just about here once again. I intend to go and remember those who we have lost in the last year. They have a gathering not far from where I live on November 20th.

Ultimately, my belief is that trans rights are going to win. Just as gay and lesbian rights have been accepted as human rights, so too will trans rights be accepted. The struggles of those who have come out before this generation will make a difference for those in this generation and beyond. We must also encourage our allies, stay vigilant and stand up for our rights.

I'm proud of my transgender sisters and brothers who have made good lives for themselves. People don't always come out when they're young. Sometimes it's a process that sees them coming out later in life, but their transition is no less valid. It's important that people in general see trans women and men as any other person with hopes and dreams, just trying to live their best lives.

What has been said in the last decade is very true. The ones who come out as trans now will make some big impacts in society for years to come. These are the ones that weren't kicked out of their parent's homes for being who they are, but instead they were loved and protected by their families.

That's as it should be, when you think about it. It's so silly for a parent to think that a transgender or gay child is somehow an insult to them. Their children are who they were born to be, plain and simple. When a trans child gets loved and nurtured, they have a better opportunity to go on to do good things.

I like the idea of parents saying, "I love you, but you're going to follow my rules. You're going to do your homework and be home by dark, and I will be here for you." The same sort of thing any other child would hear from loving parents.

Trans children being encouraged to be who they are and being encouraged to get an education are important. I think about children who come out and go through the puberty they identify with, and it makes me smile. I didn't get that growing up, and I wish I had.

This generation will get better education and thusly have a better chance to be in a position to make a big difference in the world. They may make important discoveries that make other people's lives that much better.

It's also true that transgender people are getting into more influential positions in the world. They're getting elected to office on local and state levels and shaping politics. I'm very proud of Zooey Zephyr, the State Representative of Montana, not to mention her fiancé Erin Reed, who writes important articles about the transgender struggle.

Zooey knows firsthand how the right is so afraid of transgender people that they are trying to pass laws to eradicate them. She stood up, face to face with Montana lawmakers at the risk of persecution, but she also knew she was standing up on the right side of history. She is certainly one of the leaders of the trans community these days.

The right wants to scapegoat the transgender community for all the problems in the world today, but people are beginning to see right through them. Ultimately, they will fail, and people are going to understand one simple truth. Trans rights are human rights. You don't have to love transgender people to respect their rights. That's all that's being asked.