Protecting And Nurturing Trans Youth Is Important

 Protecting And Nurturing Trans Youth Is Important

Trans March SF is coming up, and this is all about transgender pride. This event is in its 20th year, and it was sparked by the mistrial in the Gwen Arajo murder case. Gwen was the transgender teen who was murdered in Newark, and the people who killed her tried to use the trans panic defense. They did time.

Back in Gwen's day, the standard reaction towards many of the trans youth was to be bullied, beaten, kicked out of the house, disowned and all sorts of unpleasantness. Some families did try. The ones who weren't lucky enough to find some place that would take them in and really care for them might have ended up on drugs, prostitution and maybe even dying.

It's hard enough to come out realizing that you were born in the wrong body. Like your mind, your essence,  does not align with the body you have. People used to look at that and say, "Oh you're just gay." However, not everybody who's transgender automatically wants to have sex with a specific gender. Gender identity and sexuality are two different things.

In Gwen's case, she had a mother who maybe didn't understand at first but gradually begin to try. Her mother did love her, but even as she knew Gwen was going down a dangerous path and might not make it, she was trying to point her in a better direction. She was trying to encourage her to pursue her dreams with dedication. 

As we've come along, we've started to understand that if we can help trans youth transition at a younger age, we can help them in so many ways. Once a child is identifying as trans, they go through serious therapy. There's a misnomer that they are suddenly put on hormones and given an operations. This isn't true.

Through the therapy, it's determined whether transition through hormones and the surgeries is needed or if something else may be at play. Oftentimes, the main thing that's happening with a child is they are expressing their gender identity without taking anything. It isn't until puberty approaches that hormone replacement therapy becomes an issue.

There is a movement against trans youth to the point of even forcing them to de-transition. That's cruel and heartless punishment to a trans child. Some people want to make them go through the puberty of the gender they were signed at birth. If you're born in a male body and identify that way, it's a natural progression. If you are born in a male body but identify as female, it's punishment.

A transgender girl will want to have the sort of puberty that a cisgender girl will have. She'll get better body changes if she's on hormones, and it will even spare her certain surgeries that will correct her appearance. Why wouldn't we wish that for a trans child? Why wouldn't we want them to have a body that makes them more confident, and thusly helps them fit in with everybody else?

The one thing about parents of trans children is they are giving them love. They are allowing them to develop through childhood experiences and transition in a more natural way. The parents are giving them the same sorts of boundaries any cisgender child would get.

"Okay, so you're transgender. I love you. However, you're still going to do your homework, do your chores around here and be back before dark. You're still going to live by our rules, but I'm going to love you and try to provide you the same opportunities as any other child."

What this is going to lead to is trans children becoming more productive members of society. They might avoid pitfalls such as drug addiction and sex work. That's not a statement that sex work is a bad thing for those who actually desire it, but in some cases transgender people have been forced into it as a way to get by.

I was doing a celebration of life event at my work. I was asked to MC the event. As we were cleaning everything up, I noticed a young trans girl walking up to me. She'd been sort of on my radar, but she was just one of the party goers to me. In fact, what was about to happen didn't really fully register with me until later.

She walked up, looked at me and smiled and gave me the biggest hug before walking away. I thought it was a nice moment and I think I said something friendly to her before she left. What that hug represented was her looking at me, an obvious trans adult, and seeing solidarity of sorts. Somebody who she can relate to. 

I'm in a field that some may view as non-trans friendly, and yet I've experienced quite a bit of love and acceptance. People know that I'm still the person that can do the things I did before I begin transition. I'm just trying to live my life and be happy. I do have anxieties about being out here versus a new location.

However, being out and proud is important to inspiring the next generation. They see us and realize they can become. When I was this child's age, which was probably around 10 or 11 years old, I realized there was something different about myself. The way I coped was different. I forced myself into a shell and cut myself off from a lot of people. I made my life about one specific thing, which is keeping a roof over my head now.

Had I had the encouragement and nurturing that this child is getting, perhaps my life would have been a little bit different. You can't play what if. What you can do is play the cards you've been dealt. Through my experiences and my understanding of what we all go through, I try to promote encouragement, love and understanding among the trans community and the people around us.

I'm hopeful when I see that trans child, that she will grow up to do good things. More importantly, that she will grow up happy and confident in her body and find the love and happiness she seeks. We all deserve that, and the fact that we know more now that enables us to help trans youth become who they were truly meant to be is a good thing.